Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023

Withnail and I quotes

Peter Marwood (“I”): We want the finest wines available to humanity! We want them here and we want them now!

Danny: I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

Marwood: Where is [Monty]?

Withnail: Sulking up the hill. He says he won’t come in for lunch without an apology.

Marwood: Suits me. He can eat his ****ing radish.

Peter Marwood (“I”): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he’s the fucking farmer!

Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! How like an angel in apprehension. How like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. Nor women neither.

Marwood: You know what we should do? I say, you know what we should do?

Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? What should we do?

Marwood: Get out of it for a while. Get into the countryside. Rejuvenate.

Withnail: Rejuvenate! What good’s the countryside? I’m in a park and I’m practically dead.

Peter Marwood (“I”): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day

Peter Marwood (“I”): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day.

Withnail: We’ve gone on holiday by mistake.

Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] I’ve got your saveloy. Here, I don’t want it.

Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later.

Marwood: Don’t vent your spleen on me. I’m in the same boat.

Withnail: Stop saying that! You’re not in the same boat. The only thing you’re in that I’ve been in is this ****ing bath!

Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine.

Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine.

Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head.

Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you?

Withnail: I fail to see my family’s of any interest to you. I’ve absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine.

Marwood: Why?

Withnail: I’ve told you why. We’re incompatible. They don’t like me being on stage.

Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career.

… & I: We’re leaving in half an hour.

– Withnail: Half an hour? Don’t be ridiculous. I need at least an hour for lunch.”

PAUL MCGANN – … & I

RICHARD R. GRANT – Withnail

“Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. And for once I’m inclined to believe that Withnail is right. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Making an enemy of our own future. What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that.”

PAUL MCGANN – … & I

“Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you’ll agree, a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.”

RICHARD GRIFFITHS – Monty

“- Monty: You’re going to finish the vegetables.

– Withnail: I don’t know how to do them.

– Monty: Well, of course you don’t, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? You don’t deserve such loyalty. Now, come along, I’m going to teach you how to peel a potato.”

RICHARD GRIFFITHS – Monty

RICHARD R. GRANT – Withnail

“I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!”