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Step Brothers Quotes
“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.” — Dale
“I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis!” — Brennan
“So many activities!” — Brennan
“Did we just become best friends?” — Brennan
“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan
“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale
“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” — Dale
“Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale
“I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek
“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan
“I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” — Alice
“I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!” — lumberjack Brennan
“We sail around the world and go port to port / Every time I come I produce a quart” — Prestige Worldwide, “Boats ‘n’ Hos”
“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale
“I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale
“My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” — Brennan
“I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale
“Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” — Nancy
“That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” — Dale
“Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” — Derek
“Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching Cops.” — Brennan
“You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek
“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.” — Brennan
“You don’t even look good when you’re singing.” — Derek
“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale
Step Brothers Quotes Activities
Brennan: Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.Dale: I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you mean.
Brennan: Hey Derek, you know what’s good for shoulder pain?Derek: What?Brennan: If you lick my butt hole.
Brennan: Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.
Brennan: This wedding is horse shit!
Derek: Brennan has a man-gina!
Dale: I manage a baseball team.Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?Dale: Fantasy league.
Derek: You know what really gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.
Derek: [in response to Alice’s singing] You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo.
Dale: Dad what are you doing!? It’s Shark Week.
Brennan: I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis!
Brennan: I’m not gonna call him Dad.Nancy: Brennan, you’re 39 years old… I wouldn’t expect you to call him Dad.Brennan: Well I’m not going to, EVER! Even if there’s a fire!
Dale: Why are you so sweaty?Brennan: I was watching cops.
Derek: Listen gang; don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story… and possibly the evening.
Dale: You and your mum are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Dale: You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Brennan: This house is a fucking prison!Dale: On Planet Bullshit!Brennan: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dick!
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