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Charlie Day Quotes
Keep singing, bitch! You’re not gonna have a face by the time I’m through with you!
Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that’s not for us…those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We’re just here to eat some dude! – charlie day quotes
Dude, it’s amazing. Look at this. Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing. – charlie day quotes
Here’s a confession: I’m in love with a man. What? I’m in love with a man… a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha. – charlie day quotes
Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your a**?
Charlie: Dude, I don’t want to shove anything in my a**!
Surprise, bitches! We’re alive and it’s blowing your minds right now!
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn’t have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I’m hoping to bring to this position.- charlie day quotes
You do not have to be fearless just don’t let fear stop you.
You cannot have a voice without risk of criticism.- charlie day quotes
I eat stickers all the time dude!
And I don’t think you should do just what makes you happy. I think you should do what makes you great. – charlie day quotes
No no no, that’s not gonna help. That’s not gonna help and I’ll tell you why: It doesn’t unbang your Mom.
Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES?!!!
Dennis, if I was looking for safe I wouldn’t be sticking my dick through a wall.
I’ll just regress, because I feel I’ve made myself perfectly redundant. – charlie day quotes
I hate listening to people’s dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I’m not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don’t care.
I’m not asking you to do anything, just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.
It’s when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It’s not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out. – charlie day quotes
If animals have taught me anything, it’s that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.
Just so I’m clear, you don’t actually think things are going to come alive because you’re spending the night in museum, right?
You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I’ve stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac–how ’bout that for stress? – charlie day quotes
So the Wendy’s manager was like ‘You gotta clean dat up!’ and I was like they’re your hamburgers you clean them up. Artemis was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won’t talk to me.
And people will tell you what do what makes you happy but a lot of this has been hard work. – charlie day quotes
As best we know, we have one life. In it you have to trust your own voice, your own ideas, your own honesty, your vulnerability and through this you will find your way.
You cannot let fear of failure or fear of comparison or fear of judgement, stop you from doing what’s going to make you great.
Do what makes you uncomfortable and scary and hard, but it will pay off in the long run.
Be willing to fail. Let yourself fail. Fail in the way in the place where you would want to fail.
Live like this the best you can. And I guarantee you will look back at a life well lived.
Yeah! Yeah, that’s the classic setup. You know this, no? Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? Looks, brains, wildcard. Think about it! The A-team did it. Scooby Doo did it. The Ghostbusters did it! – charlie day quotes
Glue is for huffing, dude!
I am going to smack everyone into tiny…little…pieces!
Oh my God! I will…I will smash your face into- into a jelly!
I’m cracking eggs of wisdom!
Masturbating Bums are bad for Business.
Of course I’m gonna explode. You think I’m not gonna explode?
[trying to say philanthropist] I’m a full-on-rapist.
I don’t wanna see you or your dirty balls in my alley again!
You know what dude, hear me out for a second okay. Now technically, that stain did appear to me. Also I am familiar with carpentry and I don’t know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don’t know, I could be, I’m not ruling it out
The acid’s makin’ me feel like I gotta take a dump. – charlie day quotes
Mac, I’m gonna stop you right there. First of all, your breath smells like an old-lady fart passing through an onion. Secondly, I know you’re trying to manipulate me. And it’s not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder because I’ve got a fatty to burn.
You must go out there and take these risks.
Fail. Pick yourself up and fail again.
You cannot love without the risk of loss.
But my lesson is I don’t give a shit.
You cannot succeed without risk of failure.
Without this struggle what is your success anyway.
I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna kick a little butt, I’m gonna to kick some butt in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna drive a big truck, I’m gonna rule this world, I’m gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna kick a little butt. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!
I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I’m a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman, now I’m here to ask for your hand, so if you are too merry m’am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me, please just marry me!
Charlie Kelly Quotes
Thank god its over.
That’s my motto
Centaurs are the kings of the mythical creatures
This is my ideal saturday night.
I never know.
Those scratch and sniffs? Come on. Don’t tease me.
We all love sneaking food into movies. If only we were as bold as Charlie.
Rock, Flag, and EAGLE!!
Nobody likes new things.
Lets be honest… kitten mittons are the best idea ever
Probably even weirder than someone from Mars!
What I wouldn’t do for a hot pocket….
The last thing about cats, I promise
Like all of us, Charlie has a dark side.
Charlie understands how hard it is to order from fancy restaurants.
This is my life right now.
And when I realize I will probably never be employed.
Is it obsession to show up at their place of work everyday? We can agree that no, it’s not.
How much cheese is too much cheese?
How many times have you wanted to say this to someone?
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